Journey to self acceptance

I know I haven't updated this blog in awhile but, recently I was inspired by my friend. She wrote a blog entry about something that has been on my mind for awhile. The subject is body image.


In recent years there has been a quote going around "real women have curves." As a skinny woman who has dealt with her share of body image issues, I'm here to say that's BS! Real women are all different shapes and sizes. It may be difficult to see how a skinny woman could have issues with her body; I'll share my story, please bear with me.


When my weight first came to my attention, I was about 8 or 9. My doctor wanted me to gain weight. Being a kid, I thought it was great! I got to eat cookies, ice cream, and other stuff. After awhile the doctor ran some tests (which all came back negative); he then determined I was genetically skinny and there wasn't anything we could do about it.


I was comfortable with the way I was, until around the time I started high school. I decided I wanted to switch to a female doctor, and that's when everything changed. When I was around 15, she decided I was too skinny and again needed to gain weight. In addition to that, I needed to go in for weekly weight checks.


Things were going ok for a few months, I'd gain weight, stay the same or sometimes lose a little. The weekly weight checks kept going on for a few months then suddenly, things started going downhill. It now got to the point where I would be visibly shaking when it came time to get on the scale (I was scared I had lost weight). If my weight went down at all, I'd get so upset I'd be sobbing. The doctor realizing how this affected me changed it to every other week. This didn't help things at all. I started looking in the mirror and for the first time ever, I didn't like what I saw. I hated how boney I was, how my clothes never fit right and just being looked at like I was sick. Only one of my friends knew this was going on. I either didn't want to worry them or I was too ashamed. What was wrong with me?


Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I spoke to my Mom about switching doctors again. After we did, I had a few more weight checks when she decided I was genetically skinny. I was relieved, I felt a little better. After all, there was nothing wrong with me. I was mostly happy again.


It took awhile for me to get to where I was comfortable with how I looked. I met my husband online shortly after high school. He saw my picture and for the first time, I was called beautiful. It made me cry. After what I went through, he saw something in me that for a year, I didn't see.


I'm still happy with the way I am. I have given birth to two amazing boys and am currently pregnant with our third child. Occasionally I do find myself thinking negatively about my body. It's these times, I remind myself that my husband loves me inside and out and my friends accept me the way I am.


Even though I'm past most of that, it still hurts when people make negative comments about someone who is skinny. The most recent comment I saw was a woman who said she "laughs scornfully at the skinny little bimbos.". This comment and others like it are NOT right! I realize the majority of the population is overweight but, really it's time to stop this nonsense! Skinny, average, short, tall, overweight or obese we need to realize we're ALL women, we ALL have feelings and we're ALL beautiful!